How to convey your genuine gratitude for the moments you share with your children.
Since my daughter, Opal, was just over a year old (she’s now six), I’ve tried to make a point of carving out what we call “special time” with her. This is time that I’m with her with zero interruptions. No email. No break for tea (unless it is her idea). No extra-long bathroom sessions where I sneak a look at my phone. Sometimes it’s only 10, 15, 30 minutes, but I try to do it every day or every couple of days. I do this because I want her to feel how much I genuinely value our time together. She chooses what we do during special time, and I maintain a straight face as I comply, regardless of how I feel about the clean up time required for when we play ‘baker’ with bowls and wooden spoons and copious amounts of flour. I want her to feel like her ideas matter.
But lately I’ve noticed a major gap in my recall of the last many months of special times. I know that we played Uno in there somewhere, but I couldn’t begin to tell you what we talked about, or even evoke one clever thing she said. On one occasion, I do remember mapping out a mental list of errands that needed done once we were finished coloring in the mermaid coloring book. My body was all there and the phone was dutifully put away, but I was mentally elsewhere. Somewhere along the way, I had gotten lazy in my attentiveness. I was so “good” at doing special times that they had become automatic and lacked the fresh attention of a new experience. To read more from Heather Grimes, click here.