Does it ever seem like other people have it all figured out—their goals, values, and purpose—while you’re just trying to figure out what to have for lunch? Don’t worry. A *lot* of us don’t have it all figured out either. According to one analysis in “The New York Times,” only around 25% of American adults say they have a clear …

I may hate “The Bachelor” but I sure love watching it Why are we *so* drawn to things we hate? There’s something satisfying about reading about a celebrity you can’t stand or listening to a podcast that irks your nerves. It’s like the negativity is so attractive and all-consuming that you can’t but go back for more. I’m not alone …

Whether you can’t get motivated to clean your house or you just aren’t feeling motivated to lose weight, a lack of motivation can be the biggest obstacle to reaching your goals. When you have no motivation to complete a task (or even start one), consider the possible reasons why you’re struggling. Then, develop a plan to help motivate yourself to …

It’s Saturday morning and you casually open your social media feed to find your close friend’s story chock full of videos of an exciting night on the town. All your other friends were there too, your stomach sinks…did they forget about you? Being excluded from plans, or just feeling left out, can be downright painful. Such feelings can send us …

Ever notice how good you feel after exercising? The other day, I was seconds from working out when my husband walked by and made an annoying comment about the living room mess. My blood pressure rose, my fists clenched, and my jaw tightened. I was getting ready to snap back at him but decided my workout was more important. I …

As mental health awareness, “therapy speak,” and self-care advocacy rises, so do conversations on boundaries. It isn’t uncommon to scroll social media and see colorful infographics providing step-by-step instructions on how to exit conversations and ways to shut down unhelpful feedback. This increased awareness isn’t unwarranted—since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, research suggests we’re in the midst of a …

In the 2003 holiday movie classic, “Elf,” the main character, Buddy, shares a particular fondness for the holiday season, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!” No matter what traditions you celebrate this winter, not everyone shares Buddy’s enthusiasm for this season. While the holidays can be a time of celebration and joy …

What can you do if you’re a teacher, a neighbor, a churchgoer, a coach … and you suspect a child is being impacted by a parent’s addiction? Maybe you’re thinking, “I’d love to help but it’s not my business.” Or “I want to reach out but I don’t know much about addiction.” Remember that episode of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, where …

A psychiatrist explains that difficult emotions are natural in new motherhood—and how partners and society at large can be supportive. You can find plenty of practical information out there about pregnancy and parenting, but what about the emotional rollercoaster and identity shift that occurs for many women and their partners when they have a child? We don’t talk much about …

A majority of parents rarely, if ever, discuss race/ethnicity, gender, class or other categories of social identity with their kids, according to a new, nationally representative survey of more than 6,000 parents conducted by Sesame Workshop and NORC at the University of Chicago. The researchers behind Sesame Street say the fact that so many families aren’t talking about these issues …

The American Academy of Pediatrics has just issued a report on what pediatricians can — and should — do to help “school-aged children who are not progressing academically.” Dr. Arthur Lavin, one of the lead authors of the report and the chairman of the A.A.P. committee on the psychosocial aspects of child and family health, said that pediatricians can play …

New guidelines for therapies for children and adolescents can reduce or eliminate attacks of migraine and greatly shorten their duration. My grandson Stefan was about 8 years old when he began to get migraine headaches. As soon as he could after getting home from school, he would lie down and go to sleep, awakening an hour or two later, usually …

And how to stop them from driving you bonkers. Little kids are diabolically engineered to make their parents do what they want. That’s the overwhelming impression I got when I talked to a bunch of academics about the origins of whining. “Children are good at co-opting whatever arsenal of behaviors they have” to get parental attention, said James A. Green, …

Parents can feel inadequate if they fall short of the idealized view of intensive parenting, in which they act directly and decisively in the child’s life. Last year when Patrick Ishizuka published a parenting study, he set off another round of discussion about what we call good parenting, and who is able to do it. The study looked at the …

Mark Seidenberg is not the first researcher to reach the stunning conclusion that only a third of the nation’s schoolchildren read at grade level. The reasons are numerous, but one that Seidenberg cites over and over again is this: The way kids are taught to read in school is disconnected from the latest research, namely how language and speech actually …

Recognizing warning signs and documenting the bullying may help, experts say. The bullying started with some teasing and mean comments, but escalated significantly when Mallory Grossman, 12, a cheerleader and gymnast from New Jersey, began middle school. It spread to social media where a group of children tormented her. They took pictures of Mallory at school, without her knowledge, posted …

On a summer afternoon, Ciara Whelan, a teacher at a New York City elementary school, knocks on the apartment door of one of her students in the Bronx. Melissa, the student’s mother, welcomes her guest with a huge platter of snacks — shrimp rolls and dill dip. Melissa explains that this past school year — third grade — her daughter, …

For youngsters these days, an hour of free play is like a drop of water in the desert. Of course they’re miserable. According to the psychologist Peter Gray, children today are more depressed than they were during the Great Depression and more anxious than they were at the height of the Cold War. A 2019 study published in the Journal …

Affluence—not willpower—seems to be what’s behind some kids’ capacity to delay gratification. The marshmallow test is one of the most famous pieces of social-science research: Put a marshmallow in front of a child, tell her that she can have a second one if she can go 15 minutes without eating the first one, and then leave the room. Whether she’s …

Kids with obesity face a host of health problems related to their weight, like high blood pressure, diabetes and joint problems. Research points to another way heavier children and teens are at risk: their own doctors’ bias. This prejudice has real health consequences for kids, making families less likely to show up for appointments or get recommended vaccines. I am …

Breaching colorism with my little girl sent me reeling back into my childhood shame. mostly sweet. After making our way through brushing teeth and getting into pajamas, my daughter and I lay down on her bedroom floor to sing songs, the final step before crawling into bed. When I tried to curl up next to my 4-year-old, though, I sensed …

Are humans born kind? We both assumed, as parents of young children, that kindness is just something our kids would pick up by osmosis, because we love them. It’s a common assumption. “We often just expect people to be kind without talking about it,” says Jennifer Kotler, vice president of research and evaluation at Sesame Workshop. “We think, ‘Oh, you’re …

Geoff and Ellie live in a suburban Chicago neighborhood that looks familiar from movies like Pretty in Pink and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off — both filmed in the area. They have three kids — Nathan, 5, Benji, 11, and Abby, 14 — and they’re worried that all three are too into their screens. An all-too-common experience Ninety-eight percent of families …

The family that plays video games together stays together. When parents become digital mentors, children can learn empathy and resilience and prepare for careers. From NPR’s Life Kit, Here are four ways to harness the advantages of screen time. 1. Whenever possible, share screens with your kids. With the littlest kids, treat screens like a picture book. As they get …

“Don’t chase me!” is one of my daughter’s favorite invitations. Of course, this is a cue to run shrieking through the house, grab her up in a fireman’s carry, hold her upside down and finally nosh on her legs as she mock-protests, “Don’t eat me! I’m a person, not a snack!” As part of the “Men in America” series on …

A new book argues that caring adult mentors are critical to students’ success in school and in life. Being a public school counselor can feel like barely contained chaos. In the large urban school where I worked, I was constantly interrupted by students in distress, lock-down drills, teachers who needed support, and parents seeking guidance. I often joked that the …

Every time Jennifer Tidd’s son was secluded or restrained at school, she received a letter from his teachers. Her son has autism and behavioral issues, and over three years — from 2013 to 2016 — Tidd got 437 of those letters. “I see this pile of documents that’s 5 inches tall that represents hundreds of hours of being locked into …

From surging hormones and acne to body hair and body odor, puberty can be a rocky transition for any kid. But girls and boys who start physically developing sooner than their peers face particular social and emotional challenges, researchers find. “Puberty is a pivotal time in kids’ lives, and early maturing boys and girls may be more likely to struggle …

At my baby’s six-month appointment a few months back, I got a one-pager from the pediatrician titled “Starting Solid Foods.” “It is critical that the baby develop a taste for rice cereal at the beginning, to offset the loss of iron from formula or breast milk,” it reads. Sounds serious. Then come the all caps: “THE FIRST TWO WEEKS OF …

It wasn’t hard for Shara Watkins to get pregnant. It was hard for her to stay pregnant. In 2016, she was devastated by two miscarriages. With the help of several medications, she successfully carried a child last year. Shara and her husband, Robert, were elated when she reached her second trimester, the phase when the highest risk of miscarriage subsides. …